gaia

published september 16, 2022

quite a lot has happened recently, but nothing too impactful or anything like that. i havent really been in the mood to write, so sorry for the silence lately.
here's something i recently posted on tumblr, maybe one of the first things i wrote in these past two weeks that was longer than a paragraph:

i got my first paycheck from my job about a week ago and my mom told me that it's apparently good luck to spend a portion of your first paycheck towards giving to charity so yesterday that's exactly what i did. i was deliberating between donating to mental health research or to an animal shelter and i decided to donate to the same shelter we adopted gaia from.

i really miss her everyday. i dont like the thought that she could be alone out there in the world, hungry and cold and lonely. ive always told myself that i would be in a state of deep grief if i ever lost one of my cats and i think a big reason why i havent given

into that feeling just yet is because im avoiding thinking of anything bad happening to her.

i really like to think that she's having a really fun adventure out in the streets, meeting other sweet cats and making friends and climbing trees. playing in the grass and chasing birds and getting her beautiful white fur all dirty with plants. or i like to think someone stumbled across her while she was out and about and decided to give her a home because of how precious she looks. i like to think her new owner is nice and generous to her just like we were, and that she never has to experience cruelty ever again.

i like to think that if she did die, she was reincarnated into my roommates cat, choosing to live one of her nine lives by my side one more time. or i like to think she's the butterfly that zips past me when im walking home from class, keeping me company and telling me she's doing okay.

i miss her all the time. wherever she is, i hope she's safe and sound and happy. if god is there, watch over our playful little baby gaia as she frolicks in the sun, whether that be on earth or in heaven. her fur shines brightest in that warm light.