long time no see
published september 29, 2022
i know i havent been writing lately. i just havent been in the mood to reflect on my day since almost every day has been pretty miserable and repetitive for the past month. it's a loop of waking up late, ditching class (and lately almost ditching work), playing video games nearly all day, binge eating, and then going to bed late usually crying. i dont really know what im thinking or feeling anymore other than overwhelmed and depressed. i so badly wish to die so i dont have to experience life anymore, it's just so exhausting.
it really felt like this month just flew by too. nothing really new or exciting happened other than going to six flags for ██████'s birthday and also playing around with the sumeru update on genshin but other than
that there's really nothing. ████ is actually becoming more distant than ever, he actually subtly admitted that he's avoiding me on
purpose. everyday im fighting the urge not to kill myself already.
i just want to sleep forever and forget everything that has ever existed. i dont know why i cant seem to pull the trigger even when the opportunity is staring me in the face
