today, i wrote
published november 17, 2019
and wrote... and wrote... and wrote...
i wrote three personal statements for the uc app and four extracurricular statements too. it was frustrating but worth it. i overcame what had been stressing me out for weeks: the fear of my writing not being perfect.
then i realized, it doesn't have to be perfect. they just have to accurately represent me and tell my story. and i think i did a pretty good job with that, so there's a pat on the back for me. :)
in other news, today was lonely again and michael died on jane the virgin... i was sobbiiing my ass off. my mom was ridiculing me but i'm pretty sure she enjoys the show too, since she asks me for recaps when i watch without her, and she intensively watches, unlike most shows i watch.
after my jane the virgin fix, i finished creating my new website. i like
it a lot, and even though the commissions page is a little
crowded, i think it's a lot better than my two year old website. next up on the new year revamp list: a new banner and icon for all my social media! (right after i finish my two very overdue commissions! fun!)
█████ helped me with my essays after my websites were finished. i'm still really upset with him but
when we talk about school and college we just sound like normal strangers again. it's a bit tragic but... it is what it is. he doesn't seem to miss me or have any emotional connection or burden with me, as if he actually loved me in the first place. it just goes to show his true colours. mine too, i guess.
we have a little tutoring system going on now. i'm going to start teaching him how to write music. i know i shouldn't even be contacting or associating with him anymore, and that i shouldn't be doing him favours, but i literally have no one to hang out with anymore. besides, we won't get lovey dovey anyway. i'm done with that.
lastly, i helped ████ learn his multiplication tables and basic algebra skills today. i feel embarrassed for him, but i get why he'd forget all that basic stuff. i just think it's funny that he really is immature sometimes, and that he actually does have the academic brain of a second grader. i'm not insulting him or anything, i just feel bad and i'm glad i had a little shining moment of knowing more than an adult (a moment that happens frequently but adults don't like admitting it...)
i'm ready to just go on vacation already. we're leaving this
saturday, the 23rd, so i need to have everything done
before thursday. i'm so burnt out from school and i even have
homework over break, but i'll mostly escape this college
app madness. whoever said senior year was chill and fun
is an absolute liar. or maybe it gets better later in the year, but i wouldn't know yet.
i'm so tired. i
