happy new year
published january 6, 2020
sorry for not writing a lot last month. i actually wrote more on my private instagram posts than in here, so i promise i didn't completely stop writing altogether.
i was just unmotivated. whenever i started to look back on my days so i could write, i got unbelievably depressed and just couldn't write.
even now, i'm struggling to accept what has happened these past few days. lets just say ████ and i aren't really on good speaking terms anymore.
break ended yesterday and i went to school today. to be frank, i feel like i look like shit so all day i've been hiding away from people like a hermit. i just feel like shit in general. i admitted a lot of my flaws in my
mental health to █████ in ceramics this morning and the topic of therapy was brought up, and he made me realize a lot of my friends
have therapists. maybe that's why they're able to handle their lives so much better than me. maybe writing was just my little way of therapy, which is why i was feeling better emotionally when i was writing everyday. maybe this, maybe that. who knows?
i hope one day things will go my way.
ash
